


Divina Commedia

by jiyu



Category: Big Bang (Band), Kpop - Fandom, Kwon Jiyong - Fandom, La Divina Commedia | The Divine Comedy - Dante Alighieri, VIP - Fandom
Genre: F/M, G-Dragon - Freeform, bigbang, kpop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-23 21:50:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18558565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jiyu/pseuds/jiyu





	1. Sober

“hi, I think it’s time I told you the truth. I need to come clean in order to finally get a piece of mind. This has been the toughest year of my life and I want to get this over with, even though it pains me. If you cared enough to criticize me, please hear me out now.”  
I tried to continue typing but my fingers froze over my keyboard. I stepped away from my desk and I sat by the window. It was midnight, the city lights were shining but it didn’t cheer me up. Not this time. I started thinking if I should share everything I had lived with him this past year with people who only hurt us. People that just wanted to see us sad. Those memories were all I had, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted the world to see that side of us. But then again, nothing’s here anymore, he’s not here.  
Those thoughts in my head made me angry. I got up and sat in front of my computer again, I took a deep breath and I started typing.  
“I met him on the 3rd of December, last year. I was working with one of his producers, preparing songs for my debut and that day he was there too. I was wrapping up when he arrived with his team. He was pretty busy so we didn’t talk much, besides, I didn’t know him yet. As I was leaving, he complimented my voice and he offered to help me with the album if I wanted that too. I believed he didn’t really mean it, so I didn’t think much of it then. Later that night I was at a bar alone, it wasn’t crowded, and I had never seen an idol there so it was a good place for me to get away from everything. At some point I saw him, he arrived there all by himself, I didn’t want to be seen with him, so I didn’t react when he sat next to me. I was sure he just wanted mindless sex for one night, so I was really tough to talk to. I made it so hard for him to hold a conversation, but he was persistent. After a while I got up to leave but him saying he just wanted to get to know me because he liked my voice so much that day at the studio had me frozen in my tracks, as much as I wanted to ignore his lame excuse I couldn’t help but notice some truth in his voice; so I stayed in that depressing half empty bar with him, we talked and after a few drinks we were both hammered so we took a cab home- his home specifically. It was one of the biggest, most expensive houses I’ve ever walked in. surprisingly, he didn’t do as much as lie a finger on me; or in me. He gave me one of his shirts to change into and he let me sleep in one of the rooms. He then stumbled to his bedroom and this is how I spent my first night with Jiyong.  
The next morning, I tried to leave, still hangover from dinking so much last night with one of the most famous people in South Korea- and that’s when it hit me, and I remembered where I was. When I opened the door of my room I saw him standing in front of me, fully recovered from all the gin. He just stood there smiling, I was still wearing his shirt (he never got it back) and he led me to the kitchen, we had breakfast in silence and then he had one of his drivers take me home. No one noticed that I had spent the night in G-Dragon’s mansion.”  
I stopped typing again, I got up and I wandered around my closet for a bit, after a few moments I sat back in front of my computer, but I was wearing that shirt of his now.  
“I still remember that day fondly, before I left his house he asked me to hang out more if I want. He was distant yet he took care of me in such a cold way, like he wanted to be caring but something held him back, I knew him for only half a day yet the desperation in his voice was clear. He needed something but I couldn’t see what. I spent that day feeling so ashamed as if I actually had sex with him last night and it seemed as if everyone around me knew that too. That night he called me. I went over to his house again and all we did was drink but this time he felt more comfortable with me, he wanted to get to know me, so we talked about my life, I answered all of his questions. I didn’t know what it was but the way he spoke, the way he looked at me- whether he was sober or not- the way his face was desperate for human interaction was disarming. The rest of the week went like this; we had a couple of bottles of wine and then we crashed on the couch if we couldn’t walk to the bedrooms. As days went by, I learned more things about him. By the third glass of wine he turned into another person, he told me about the loneliness he was feeling, his problems, his friends that didn’t genuinely care about him, smoking, the money, the songs he was writing at that time; he was an open book for me and as I read him, I exposed my pages too. We were both really damaged, it was terrifying.  
On a rainy Friday night, some time before Christmas, as he was pouring our first round of chardonnay, I decided to ask him about something that was bugging me all these weeks that we were friends- more like drinking buddies. ‘why did you choose to open up to me about all of your problems? you barely know me’ I was as serious as I could be. ‘well, I knew you’d ask this sooner or later’ he said, and he smirked, not meeting my eyes once. ‘so?’ I had to know and I wouldn’t let him dodge this question. ‘when we first met you were just a stranger and it was easy for me to open up to you, but now I’ve gotten to know you, you opened up to me like I did and now we’re here. It was easy talking to you and now I enjoy the bond we have’ he replied, he took a sip of wine and then he looked at me after setting the glass on the table. ‘So meeting up every night, drinking and passing out is a bonding activity to you?’ I sat back and looked around the place clearly annoyed by his response. I knew he was lying but what drove me crazy was that I could understand how he really felt inside just by the look on his face. He saw my annoyed expression and he got up, he grabbed the wine bottle and he threw it away. He then sat next to me, it was the closest we’ve ever been since the day we met. ‘At first it was an easy solution talking to you about all the things that went on in my head, I had no attachment to you. You were nothing to me that night and I was nothing to you, but as time went by, I realized how good it was to let it out, to communicate. You know how lonely I am, hell, you know me better than most of my “friends”’ those words were the last straw ‘so I’m just a therapist to you? That’s it?’ his face changed completely, he wasn’t calm anymore, his eyes opened wide- I doubt he expected that reaction from me. ‘listen to me please’ the desperate, tired tone in his voice was apparent once again. ‘these past days I’ve been thinking about all of these things you’ve told me about you and I’ve started feeling more comfortable with the idea of being so close to someone, to share so many secrets with someone, you made it easy for me to face my problems and I’m sorry I can’t express better how I grateful I am to you. I’m sorry I’m not thinking of you as a friend at this point’ after he said those things he laid back on the couch, eyes closed, and I realized then why there was such a desperate tone in everything he said. The only thing that made sense to me then was to leave, I was so confused, so I got up, his eyes opened instantly and as if he was numb, he watched me walk away. ‘I know you feel the same way’ he mouthed in a calm tone ‘what?’ I almost whispered while turning around to look at him, I couldn’t believe he was being cocky at a time like this. He got up slowly and he approached me, I knew he was sober and fully aware of his body and soul. ‘I know I’m not irrelevant to you either, not anymore’ he said, he was confident and that smile on his face showed it. He could read me as well as I could read him too. ‘you never left, you always came over when I called you, you sat through listening to all the shit that is happening to me’ he was now inches away from me and all I could do was stay still. He looked straight into my eyes and he broke; his eyes filled with tears, his hands slowly laid on my face and they moved my hair to the side, his forehead then rested on mine and before I could do anything his lips landed on mine and we kissed. I could sense his sadness as he deepened the kiss. I responded almost instinctively, and I kissed him back, his hands dropped from my face to my shoulders and he pulled me closer. The way he kissed me hid all the affection and feeling he was struggling to show all this time. When we pulled away I saw tears wetting his cheeks but I didn’t have the chance to speak because he pulled me in a really tight hug and he kissed the top of my head ‘please don’t leave, you can’t imagine how much I need you’.


	2. Him

“We were so drawn to each other; it was obvious, and that kiss confirmed it. I didn’t want to think about the way I felt for him at the beginning because I was certain it was one-sided, until he kissed me. That night we didn’t get drunk, we just slept. It was the first time I went into his bedroom and even though it looked really beautiful and expensive, it felt lifeless. We didn’t talk much for the rest of the night, it was all pretty simple. I had been sleeping over at his house almost every night of that past month, but this was the first night I was sleeping on his bed. At first, we slept far away from each other but as time passed, he brought me gently closer to him. In the middle of the night my eyes jerked open for no particular reason. It was 3:00 am as I saw from a clock on the wall, even if at the beginning of the night we barely touched, now my head was resting on his chest and he had his arms wrapped around me, holding me closely on him. I could hear his heartbeat, it was calm and steady, which made me smile. I tried to move around a bit, to adjust myself without waking him up; yet, he sensed me moving and, without waking up, he tightened his grip around my body, oddly, I felt comfortable in that moment with him.   
From that night on we were together. He felt even more at ease with me, he wasn’t hiding his feelings so much anymore; it was all calmer, more serene. Of course, our relationship was a secret from almost everyone at the beginning; our families, our friends, our companies (only his manager knew, and he helped us out a lot). We both knew how everyone would react if I said that I’m dating a 29-year-old guy that happens to be one of the most famous Korean artists ever. I was only 19 and I was certain there’d be no way we were allowed to date, but for us, the age gap didn’t matter, the connection we had was much more important than a number.   
Being as secretive as we could, we met up before and after his shows; it was hectic backstage so no one really noticed me, everyone thought I was his assistant, so I spent a lot of hours from my day in rooms full of clothes, makeup and people I didn’t know in order to see him even for a few minutes. For obvious reasons he couldn’t come visit me while I was training so he just picked me up every night after I was done practicing. Some of my fellow trainees had noticed that someone in a matte black Lamborghini was waiting for me every day but thankfully his identity wasn’t exposed.  
Aside from all of that though what really mattered was him. It wasn’t his house, his fame or his car that drew me to him. Jiyong had his own kind of charm, his own way of expressing himself. Even if he seemed like an unapproachable person, when we were together, he wasn’t G-Dragon, he was just Jiyong. An average height skinny guy with a bunch of tattoos, that December his hair was a beautiful shade of light brown, kind of long and almost always messy. His face was my favorite part of his appearance. Those facial features of him showed so many things his words often failed to express. His eyes were all kinds of tired from working non-stop all these years but when he was laughing, they hid behind his cheeks and whenever he was happy or excited those beautiful browns sparkled. Undoubtedly, Jiyong’s smile was my favorite one in the whole entire world. When his lips started forming a smile, lines formed around them, puffing up his cheeks. When he laughed, his top lip often disappeared and gave way to his perfect teeth. I just loved seeing him laugh or just smile, especially if I had caused him that reaction.”  
After I finished writing that description of him my eyes started aching, soon enough my vision was blurry, and tears started running down my face. Having this image of him so fondly in my head was painful, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I rested my face on my hands and I cried, I let it all out. I cried for a long time, I tried to stop but it took me a while to get it together. When I calmed down, the clock indicated 2:10 am and I was exhausted. I left my room in his shirt and sweatpants, I walked past his studio and a cold shiver ran through me, I ignored it. I got to the kitchen and soon enough I was back in my room with a glass of scotch in hand. I took a sip and after the bitterness was forgotten by my tongue, I continued describing Jiyong.   
“It might have looked like Jiyong wasn’t a good person to me- at least that’s what I’ve been told- but this man had the most tender soul, his mind wasn’t always happy, but it was okay, he had to deal a lot, he was feeling so many things at once and he just needed someone by his side to face all of this. He was so scared; at the beginning he was scared of me but then I realized that the only thing that scared him was himself. Jiyong didn’t deserve what he was going through all these years. He truly was one of the nicest people, he laughed with his entire being and he loved a lot. He had loved so many, but very few loved him to the extent he did; whether that be his friends, his past relationships or his fans. Apart from all his talents, that were pretty apparent to anyone that knew him as an artist, he was so much more, he had a whole world inside of him that very few people knew about.”   
I decided to stop talking about Jiyong the way I had experienced him, I still wanted to keep some things to myself. I looked around the room and my eyes fell on a photo of us from January when we had just started dating. It was from our first trip; we went to Japan for three days; he had a show there and he had asked me to go with him. The photo showed me and Jiyong in a small alley in Nakano, it was really late at night (after he was done with his show). He had one arm around my shoulders and with the other he was holding a cigarette. I saw his smile in the photo and I smiled back. Happy times, I thought to myself and I turned my eyes back to my computer.  
“he always liked travelling with me, he knew I didn’t have the funds to visit all the places I wanted, so whenever he had the chance to go abroad, I tagged along. Throughout the past year I got to see so many things I’ve never even dreamt of being able to see and it was all thanks to him. We had the most fun when we were outside of Korea. He was so much calmer because not many people could recognize him in Europe or America so we could walk around freely and go to almost any place we liked. Every time I saw him run around the streets of the city we were in, being all smiley and taking photos of the buildings, or every time we visited a museum and he spent hours admiring all the art, completely taken aback from what the human mind can create, I felt so happy, I knew I was contributing to all those positive feelings that were being born in his mind and for a moment there I was sure that happiness was the most important thing I could give him.   
I remember that Thursday in January when we were flying to Tokyo for the first time. We were leaving right after he was working at the studio, so he was pretty tired. While we were on the plane, he sat next to me, lied his head on my lap and he closed his eyes, I knew he was exhausted so I started playing with his hair while looking out of the window, watching Seoul get lost in the horizon. Without opening his eyes, Jiyong smiled and he moved his head closer to my stomach ‘I love you so much, do you know that? I do, I genuinely love you, please don’t forget that’ he said softly, ‘I love you too’ I replied but he was already asleep.”


	3. Daisies

I woke up the next day on my desk and my whole body was aching from sleeping like this. I decided to go for a walk and relax from all that I relived in my head last night. I was back home by noon and without having lunch I sat back in front of my computer- I had to write more.   
“Jiyong worked a lot. Many thought that he was constantly out getting drunk but this was only one side of him that he tried a lot to leave behind, yet people shamed him for it all the time. This past year he was working on a new mixtape and he helped with my debut too. It was only natural that he would spend a lot of time on the studio and some nights he even slept there. When I was done with practice or whatever I had to do each day, I visited him at his studio, and I kept him company. He often asked my opinion on his songs, but he had some that he didn’t let me listen to. I remember how his face lit up in front of the screen every time he was happy with the result he got, he’d immediately turn around to look at me with a huge smile on his face, excited to show me what he had just made.   
I can’t even count the times I had fallen asleep on the couch of his studio while listening to his voice. As it was getting late at night, he knew I’d fall asleep, so he always worked on his ballads and his softer songs then. That calmer side of him was my weakness. Jiyong was always really absorbed in his work so we didn’t talk a lot but when he noticed I was asleep he would stop what he was doing and he’d lie on the couch next to me and, being the big spoon he always was, he’d pull my back closer to his body with one hand around my waist and the other one holding my hand. It was the best thing in the world to wake up in his arms the next morning.   
As he grew more comfortable around me, he loved showing his affection- especially when we were traveling. While we were walking around the streets of the city we were visiting each time, he held my hand in his and I rubbed circles on the back of his palm. Sometimes he’d have his arm around my shoulders, and he’d kiss my head occasionally; I loved these kinds of walks with Jiyong, I was calm with him then and I could tell that it gave him some much-needed time to unwind too.   
Back in March we went to Daegu. He just woke up on a Wednesday morning and he said he wanted to see the flowers, so we drove from Seoul for almost three hours to visit the beautiful parks there. When we got there, it was pretty crowded and we had to walk around in masks, something that we were both sick of, but we couldn’t do differently. We really liked it there, it was so refreshing to walk around so much green. While we were walking by some daisies, Jiyong let go of my hand, picked a small daisy and he gave it to me ‘isn’t this your favorite flower?’ he asked and he continued walking while still looking at me ‘yes, but I don’t think I’ve ever told you about it?” I replied confused. ‘One night when we were first hanging out you were pretty drunk and you started talking, a lot. You talked about your favorite food that you were craving then, your favorite song which wasn’t one of mine, so please explain that to me, now that I’m thinking about it’ I cut him off half way through his sentence by lightly hitting his arm and he started laughing ‘seriously though, I learned a lot about you from your drunk self- and one of those things were that you love daisies’ he said and he caressed my cheek over the mask, even if I couldn’t see his lips smile, his eyes had turned into two little crescent moons that sparkled.   
We followed a narrow path that was hidden by many tall trees and it led to a small clearing; a more remote area in the park. It was so beautiful there, like a painting or a fairytale; the trees created shades and from little openings, pink and orange sunrays peeked through, indicating that the sun was setting, the sky had a few clouds that looked as if a they were painted by the most talented artist. I looked around and flowers were blooming and budding; it was such a great idea to visit Daegu at that time of the year.  
We were far away from the other visitors, so we finally took off our masks and sat on the ground by a tree. Jiyong lied on his back against the trunk of the tree and he closed his eyes a bit. Without thinking too much about it, I wrapped my arms around him, and I rested my head on his chest, I could feel his hand rub my back softly. I couldn’t believe I was in such a beautiful place like this, and yet, the only thing I could focus on was him. After staying there in complete silence for a while, I felt him move a bit, so I adjusted myself too, we were now sitting across each other but still close. He looked at me and smiled, I didn’t understand what he meant with that, his smile didn’t have an underlying meaning, it was simple. ‘Thank you’ he said and he took my hands in his ‘thank you for being here with me, in such a short amount of time you’ve become one of the most important people in my life’ I couldn’t find the words to reply with, so I just looked down, I didn’t know why I reacted like this but at that moment he put his hands on my shoulders which startled me, so I looked up and he laughed. ‘You’re the cutest’ he whispered before leaning in to kiss me. It was the first time we were kissing in public and a strange feeling came alive in my stomach, I didn’t know if it was the butterflies, but I loved what was happening to me at that moment. Without breaking the kiss, I put my hands around his neck, and I brought his face closer to mine, deepening the kiss. I could feel him smiling between the kisses in the beginning but after I pulled him closer, he became more intense. He rested his hands gently on the sides of my waist and he led me on him. I sat on his lap and he started kissing my neck, leaving hickeys on my skin, he then looked at me with a straight face and asked me if I’m ready, when I heard those words my automatic reply was no- he saw that I felt weird so he immediately pulled me in a tight hug and he started caressing my hair ‘it’s okay baby don’t think about it’ ‘I’m so sorry I know how much you want this but I can’t do it yet’ I said feeling really ashamed for some reason. He then put my face in his hands, and he looked right into my eyes. ‘Don’t ever apologize about nonsense like this, I want you to be comfortable and happy before anything else’ he replied, and he kissed my nose.  
It was getting dark and we decided to leave the park and drive back to Seoul. The next day was really special and I had to be home for it.”


	4. 03/20

I suddenly came to the realization that I was about to open up and talk about one of the weirdest days of my life. I walked slowly around the house and I looked at all the pictures on the walls. They all had one thing in common- they showed just me and him. I sat on the couch in the living room. The sun had just set, and the city lights had started to faintly shine. I had to think of all those these things that happened that day before I put them into words, so I spent quite some time there looking at the beautiful skyline, but my mind wasn’t there. The clock on the wall indicated it was already 9:20 pm and I decided I was ready to let it all out.   
“The day that came after our trip to Daegu was my 20th birthday. I woke up to sunrays warming up my face and a sleeping Jiyong next to me. He looked so peaceful and his breathing was steady, his messy hair changed into beautiful shades of light brown and gold as the sun laid on them, his skin was glowing, and he had one arm around my body. I moved closer to him and he opened his eyes lazily before holding me with both hands and rolling me onto his chest. ‘Happy Birthday angel’ he said with his beautiful morning voice, I brushed some of his hair aside and I kissed him, ‘I love you’ I whispered and we laid there, looking into each other’s eyes as if it was the first time we woke up in each other’s arms. After lying around, talking about random stuff, Jiyong told me he had to go to the studio, but he’d be back as fast as he could to celebrate my birthday. With those words he got up from the bed and he got ready quickly.   
After he left I spent my morning replying to wishes and phone calls from my friends and cousins. I was in the middle of talking to my best friend on the phone when the door bell rang. A big white box was handed to me by one of the guards from the gate of the house. I set the box on the couch and I unwrapped it; a beautiful red silk gown was neatly folded in there. Before I could even take the dress out of the box, Jiyong called me, ‘did you get the dress?’ he asked, and I knew from the tone of his voice that he was smiling. ‘It’s so beautiful’ I said as I ran my fingertips over the expensive fabric. ‘That’s just the beginning baby, I have prepared so much for today, be ready by 6:00, we have a reservation, alright honey?’ ‘I’ll be ready by then don’t worry’. After we hang up, I started running around the house in excitement. It was the first time we went on such a fancy date just the two of us and I couldn’t be happier. It was already 3:30 pm and I had to start getting ready. I took a really long warm bath to relax my nerves for tonight. After I got out of the bath, I started doing my makeup and I realized I had to look extra nice for tonight; I’d be standing next to the celebrity G-Dragon and not so much my boyfriend Jiyong, since we’d be in public. Once my face was ready, I started straightening my hair in hopes of looking more put together. At around 5:15 I walked into the bedroom, I took the dress out of the box to wear it and to my surprise there was a small paper unnderneath; ‘check the sock drawer in my closet’ I dropped the dress on the bed and I ran immediately to his giant walk-in closet, I knew exactly where the sock drawer was so it didn’t take me long to find a black jewelry box in there. I opened it and inside, a pair of long cluster diamond earrings laid there. Immediately I called him, I couldn’t believe he bought these ‘is everything okay?’ ‘uhm I don’t know, did you buy me the earrings you had in your closet?’ ‘yes, why? Don’t you like them?’ ‘no, it’s not that, it’s just… that’s a lot of money Jiyong’ ‘honey don’t worry about stuff like that okay? I enjoy spoiling people I love. I’ll see you in a bit don’t be late’.  
I put on the dress, a pair of not so high black heels (he wasn’t that much taller than me either). my hair was in a low ponytail that made my earrings show more, I looked at myself through the mirror in his closet and I was shocked by how much better I looked like this. Before I knew it, the time had come to go to my fancy dinner and a newfound kind of adrenaline ran through my veins that I adored.   
The sky was turning purple when I was walking down the driveway of the house to his parked Lamborghini outside. I took a deep breath and when the gate opened, I saw Jiyong standing in front of the car, looking at the floor. He looked beautiful as always, but he had a nervous look on his face. He was wearing a maroon velvet suit, the top was a little oversized for his body, but he made it look so good on him. He didn’t wear a shirt underneath and a part of his chest was exposed. He had his beautiful brown hair as usual; he knew I loved his fluffy hair, so he had kept it as is. he had little to no makeup on that toned his eyes and his overall image was very professional and intimidating.   
When he saw me arrive, his eyes went from my head to toe and his mouth hang a bit open. Once he snapped back to reality, he came close to me, gave me a small hug ‘you look beautiful in this dress’ he whispered while hugging me, I could feel his breath against my neck which gave me shivers. We got into his car and we drove to one of the most beautiful restaurants in the city. It was on the 23rd floor of a huge hotel that overlooked the Namsan park; I had only heard about this place but now I was going to celebrate my birthday there with my boyfriend.   
When we arrived there we were informed that his manager had booked the entire place for us tonight because he didn’t want us to worry about our privacy on such an occasion. ‘I didn’t know your manager knew about us’ ‘he kind of could see it for himself but it’s okay he’s gonna support us no matter what’ Jiyong replied as we were seated in the middle of the beautiful restaurant we had all to ourselves. The evening went by smoothly, the food was more than great and Jiyong was perfect as always. We talked about all sorts of things, and he kept complimenting me even if I blushed like a tomato every time. When we were done, we decided to go back home and chill for the rest of the night- since January Jiyong was trying to cut down on the alcohol, so going to a bar or a club afterwards wouldn’t be the best thing for him.  
The moment we arrived home, Jiyong went to take a shower and as I was taking off my makeup, my parents called me. It all went normally up to the point where they asked to video call me because they hadn’t seen me in a long time. I had no other choice, I quickly ran to the living room and when they saw me in the dress I was wearing their expressions changed, the huge house behind me raised questions I knew I had to answer.   
The first one to talk was my father that asked where I was because this looked nothing like my apartment, I quickly blurted out that I was in a friend’s house which made them angry and they demanded to know the truth. Then I told them about my relationship, that we lived together and that he was the one who bought me all that I was wearing. At that point they were both expressionless and none of us talked. After this rather long silence, my mom told me to call them back once I looked like myself and not like someone’s escort and she immediately hang up.   
I ran to the bedroom, Jiyong was still in the shower, so I quickly took off everything I was wearing, and I threw on one of his shirts and a pair of shorts, I went to the kitchen to get some privacy again and I called my parents back. They still looked very angry with me and they started bombarding me with questions. They were mostly about Jiyong; what he does for a living, why are we dating, for how long but the thing that was the last straw for them was his age. When I told them that he was nine years older than me, they became enraged. My father threatened me that if I didn’t break up with him now I would no longer be his daughter, my mother didn’t even try to understand me, she just agreed with my father. They didn’t even want to know how I felt for him, or just his name- all they heard was that a rich celebrity almost a decade older than me had me as his hostage in his house. They didn’t give me a chance to explain anything. At some point through their yelling I lost my temper too and I told them that if they can’t accept my relationship with Jiyong I don’t want them as my family because they don’t want to see me happy and they hang up on me, again. As soon as I put the phone on the counter, my legs felt powerless and slowly I sat on the cold kitchen floor, my back against one of the counters and I started crying. I couldn’t believe what had just happened, suddenly I felt so alone. My own family didn’t want me, and I didn’t know what to do, breaking up with Jiyong wasn’t even an option, I couldn’t even picture leaving him, he made me so happy. I kept crying and I heard footsteps approaching me ‘what happened, who was yelling at you?’ I heard Jiyong say before sitting next to me on the floor. I looked at him, my eyes were red from crying and I was shaking- it was a mess. When he saw me like this his, calm expression quickly turned into a concerned one and he didn’t know what to do. ‘Can you please hold me for now, I don’t want to think of anything’ I said between my sobs and before I could finish my sentence he had already pulled me in his arms, I was sitting there in something that resembled a fetal position; my head was on his chest, my hands were holding my knees close to my body and he kept his arms locked around me. As I kept crying, he kissed the top of my head and he kept repeating ‘I’m holding you now don’t worry, I’m here, it’s gonna be okay’ after a while I’m pretty sure I fell asleep and he carried me to bed.   
I woke up sometime around midnight and I was alone, I got up and I walked to the living room, he was lying on the couch watching tv. When he saw me smiled and sat up ‘are you feeling okay?’ ‘yes, aren’t you sleepy’ ‘not really, I’m watching a movie… do you want to talk about what happened?’ ‘well’ I said as I took a seat next to him. ‘I told my family about us and long story short I don’t think they consider me their daughter anymore’ I said and I laughed a little at how dumb what I just said sounded, but Jiyong didn’t think it was funny, at all. ‘Are you serious?’ it was the first time I had seen him this angry with something I told him. ‘How could they say such thing to their child? I can’t believe they did this to you on your birthday for fuck’s sake’ ‘it’s okay Jiyong, please don’t start yelling too’ with those words he instantly went back to normal, he then put his hands on my shoulders, and he looked straight into my eyes. ‘Screw them baby, if they can’t respect your choices, they’re not your family, I’m your family from now on’ after that declaration he kissed my nose and he whispered ‘I’m here for you okay?’ before we cuddled up to watch the movie he was watching but shortly after I was asleep again in his arms. His words felt oddly reassuring and somehow, I didn’t worry too much about the family I had lost that day, because I became a part of another one.”


End file.
